When I think of prayer, I think of the everyday stuff: meals, thank you’s for the day, and prayers over children as they sleep. I also think about the prayers of desperation that we pray during a crisis. But here lately, I have been praying a different kind of prayer. Something in between these two.
You see, I have been suffering with some pretty crazy depression and (for the first time in my life) anxiety. I’ve been doing all the things my therapist wants me to do. I have been taking the medicine my psychiatrist wants me to take. And yet, it is still there.
When you have this going on you just want some relief from it after a while. This can take you down some scary roads, but thankfully I have an amazing support group. Prayer didn’t occur to me until I had to pick up the phone and call Lyndsay. Crying, I poured out to her what was going on. My sweet friend didn’t judge me or tell me it was going to be ok. I had heard those words before. She suggested we pray. So she did.
Friends, I am here to tell you that allowing myself to stop and enter into God’s presence with her for that prayer gave me relief. Now, it didn’t solve my problem, but it showed me that when God says “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,” (Phil 4:7) that he was not kidding.
This attack on me has been from the enemy and I have set down my greatest weapon to cower in the corner and cry. Prayer, my friends, is an amazing tool and weapon against Satan and all his ways. When I allowed myself to pray - truly focus and pray - I found peace. Even if it was just for a few minutes, it was there. It was possible.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.” (Phil 4:6) is what comes before the peace verse. So when I take the time to be in His word, His presence, and really lean into him and come to him as a child would come to her Father, I find this amazing gift. Never in my life have I needed the precious gift of prayer like I do now.
So is my situation a crisis? No. Is it something that is “everyday”? Not that either. But nonetheless, it is vital and God knew I was going to need these verses, this reassurance, in my life. Obviously, if it is in the Bible, I am not the only one who needs to hear this.
So, in the meantime, I will keep doing all the things and taking the medicine. But most importantly, I will lean on God and remember that He has it under control. I will rest in His peace and continually remind myself that He is there. The Holy Spirit will keep interceding for me when I have no words. I will keep praying.
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