Sometimes scripture has some truly perplexing passages. This one is one of those. Jephthah, a man born to a prostitute, yet chosen to be a Judge in Israel and commended for faith in Hebrews 11. A warrior who makes a hasty vow to dedicate the first thing that comes out of his house to greet him as a burnt offering in order to obtain success in battle.
“And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.” Judges 11:30
If you haven’t read this part of Judges, please go read it now for yourselves.
In short, Jephthah returns from battle and the first thing that greets him is his beloved, only daughter who greets him with great celebration. Upon seeing her, he is filled with grief at the thought of his vow. And this is where it gets even crazier…
His daughter implores her father to keep his vow. Keep his vow at her expense. Woah…
“So, she said to her father , “Let this thing be done for me; leave me alone for two months, that I may go up and down on the mountains and weep for my virginity, I and my companions.” Judges 11:37
Now, this is where I mention that this part of scripture is highly debated by scholars as to what this sacrifice entailed. It seems hard to believe that it is an actual human sacrifice since God’s word repeatedly outlaws such a thing (Deut 18:10, Leviticus 20:2). Especially, since God granted him the success he sought and this certainly seems contradictory to his very nature. Some believe that because of the emphasis later on mourning her virginity that this implied a life of singleness. The fact is no one knows for certain, but we can be certain that God values human life. But I digress, this article isn’t to debate the theories.
“And at the end of the two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow that he had made. She had never known a man, and it became a custom in Israel that the daughters of Israel went year by year to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in the year.” Judges 11:39-40
It’s hard to know exactly what she must have been thinking or feeling. But Jephthah’s daughter seems to take very seriously a vow made to God. This obedience was at a high cost to her. No matter what the details of the sacrifice, Jephthah lost any chance at his family line continuing because of this hasty vow.
It’s interesting that Jephthah’s daughter was happy to see him. Really happy. Absolutely cheering him on when he returned. She seemed to really love him. He is also torn up with grief and regret. He was born to a prostitute and thrown out of his father’s house because of it, yet he raises a daughter totally committed to him and to fulfilling a vow to the Lord. Willing to sacrifice her happiness and her expectations of what life would look like. This is a heart wrenching picture of dying to self.
Have you been there? Maybe you thought your life would look like a happy marriage, but instead you are single. Or maybe your marriage fell apart and you’re left to pick up the pieces. Maybe you thought you would get that miracle baby after years of trying, yet God in his sovereignty hasn’t granted that request. Maybe, due to circumstances outside of your control, serving the Lord looks or feels like dying to your flesh. Sometimes, even if we didn’t choose the path, if we want to move on to what the Lord has for us, we have to grieve and move forward with courage. The circumstances may be different than mine or Jephthah’s daughter, but it feels like the Lord is calling you to say no to the things you want, either for a short time or a long while. If you are having a hard time with this one, please know I am right there with you. Scripture says she mourned. Really mourned. Mourned in community. This was not easy for her. She obviously knew the value of lament and set a time frame for it.
I think it’s interesting that Paul commends Jephthah for his faith in Hebrews 11.
“And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets - who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforce justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouth of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness…”
He is right there in Hebrews, applauded for his faith. Obviously, just like other judges, he was flawed. So, what value can we glean? Perhaps, it’s not to make a hasty vow though, especially when it pertains to other people. (Matthew 5:37, Proverbs 20:25) Sometimes, or many times, I have been guilty of seeing God in transactional terms. Control God, if you will. If I live a certain way, I will be blessed. When circumstances didn’t go my way, I felt cursed or scorned. It felt unfair. Really unfair. But I wasn’t seeking the Lord, I was seeking to receive from the Lord. Yet, Jephthah’s daughter’s response shows us the beautiful act of willingly laying down our expectations for our life. She placed a high priority on mourning but also set some boundaries for the grief. We're not always going to know the answers. God is constantly trying to teach me that.
It also reminds me of another part of scripture to another young woman who saw her life going differently, but chose to trust God with a different outcome.
“And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” Luke 1:38
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:24
So, the only thing I can cling to in these difficult passages or difficult seasons...and maybe this is the point. Jesus is worth laying down our lives on a daily basis.
“In your presence there is fullness of joy.” Psalm 16:11
Lord, help us to see you, even in distressing parts of scripture. Help us to draw near to you, knowing that you are good and in your presence is peace and joy. Help us to know that in you is where we find our true life.
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